yet another reason to love her

esthero showing her support for the gays!

panic moment

this summer is not starting off much better than the last. i have been applying for jobs and at temp agencies, but so far i have nothing. in addition to this i have large credit card bills and over the limit fees to contend with, and my seatbelt ticket. but i have $10 to my name. i'm supposed to be getting a check from my internship, but i'm not sure when that'll get here. oh yeah, i also need money to buy new glasses, because i lost mine. they were very expensive, and i'm still freaked out that they're gone, but there's nothing to be done. i know these are small in comparison to some people's problems but i'm very bad at dealing with these situations, and am in a bit of a panic. if one thing would fall into place, surely the others would follow suit, right? it's hard to tell at this point.

danger

i should never be allowed to mix my own drinks ever again.

seriously?

i swear you could set a fucking stopwatch to time how long it takes after one thing goes right in my life before something blows the fuck up in my face!

i had a great interview this morning, and was feeling a bit better about things this summer, which have been worrying me non-stop, but then i get pulled over by a motorcycle cop because i wasn't wearing my seat belt. so now i - who have no money to my name at all - must pay $100.

no it's not the end of the world, but on top of all the other bullshit that i have had to deal with in the recent weeks of my life, i would expect a break maybe at some point. is that unreasonable?

eva thinks it's because i killed a lot of people or swindled old ladies in a past life. if i did, i am truly sorry, but i would never do that now, if that counts for anything. if it does, please make a note in my file, because this shit has to stop.

just because you should

so i've woken up at some completely unacceptable time. but that will be remedied momentarily. but first i will have a drink of water. because apparently it's just the healthiest thing, and i should be drinking it practically every moment, instead of the millions of diet coke with limes that i usually drink. after that i'm thinking of sleeping until the middle of the day, at which point i'll get up and we'll see...

good morning monday, i'm glad i've lived to see you, but i'm going back to sleep.

"i like to maintain a healthy lifestyle!" - patsy, from abfab

bad news

i am not going to be graduating this semester. it is an incredibly long, drawn out story, so if you want to hear it, i'll be happy to call you and tell you, rather than writing it all out.

i'm trying to keep things in perspective and think positively where possible, but it comes and goes. the main thing i'm having a hard time with is having let my parents down. they were more excited about my graduation than i was, and now i've let them down. i've talked to them a little about the situation, but need to go through it again tonight, and i'm dreading it.

the other problem - as always - is money. i can find a way to support myself during the next semester, but can't cover my car insurance and my health insurance and rent, so i would still need their help. i'm jumping to conclusions a little by assuming that it's going to be a problem between us, but it seems fairly likely.

and of course i don;t have anything figured out that well at this point, because i'm still somewhat thrown. i'm such a pessimist usually, that it really hasn't surprised me that i didn't make it, though. that's a bad feeling to feel about yourself. i'm working on it, though.

"as we go marching into love, we are bound to be scarred, but you gotta march on anyway" .:esthero:.

"...you are held in a queue..."

if this is a question
is "maybe" a lie?
if "yes" doesn't mean it
does "when" lessen "why"
you are held in a queue
someone will be with you shortly
say I'm wrong
you decide
i don't believe the words you sing sometimes

but then it's your life
it's your life
it's your life
it's your life

but, you've only got one...

if i just to spite you
placate your disgrace
will song turn to silence?
will mask wear your face?
are you down to be open?
show me yours and i'll show you mine
or are you down just to be down?
i don't believe the words you sing sometimes

but then it's your life
it's your life
it's your life
it's your life

but, you only got one

you've only got...one...
.:frou frou//only got one:.