bad news

i am not going to be graduating this semester. it is an incredibly long, drawn out story, so if you want to hear it, i'll be happy to call you and tell you, rather than writing it all out.

i'm trying to keep things in perspective and think positively where possible, but it comes and goes. the main thing i'm having a hard time with is having let my parents down. they were more excited about my graduation than i was, and now i've let them down. i've talked to them a little about the situation, but need to go through it again tonight, and i'm dreading it.

the other problem - as always - is money. i can find a way to support myself during the next semester, but can't cover my car insurance and my health insurance and rent, so i would still need their help. i'm jumping to conclusions a little by assuming that it's going to be a problem between us, but it seems fairly likely.

and of course i don;t have anything figured out that well at this point, because i'm still somewhat thrown. i'm such a pessimist usually, that it really hasn't surprised me that i didn't make it, though. that's a bad feeling to feel about yourself. i'm working on it, though.

"as we go marching into love, we are bound to be scarred, but you gotta march on anyway" .:esthero:.